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Homeland Security does reality TV

February 15, 2009

When I originally read this piece of news, I thought it was a bad Onion parody. But it turned out to be true….

US Homeland Security has its own reality TV show!

The show, Homeland Security USA, debuted Jan. 6, 2009 on ABC. It features an in-depth look at how real live US law officers from the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) are bravely protecting the Homeland from Evil-Doers Who Hate Our FreedomsTM in areas like airports, border crossings, coastal ports, and public libraries.

For those concerned that there might be a slightly “patriotically correct” bias to the show, its producer, Arnold Shapiro, reassures people that

“It doesn’t have a political point of view…. It’s not meant to show the department higher-ups … just the average men and women on the front lines protecting our country from various things illegal and dangerous.”

Whew! For a second, I was worried that this show might turn into a platform for US government propaganda.

While Americans have embraced similar reality shows like American Idol, Survivor, Big Brother, or Dancing with the Stars, I think the producers of Homeland Security USA have really hit on something better.

Here are just a few possible spin-offs of the Homeland Security USA franchise:

Homeland Security USA, the sitcom. This show would follow the hijinks of ICE personnel as they diligently raid the workplaces or homes of undocumented immigrants and expel them back to their native lands.

Homeland Security USA, the movie. The plot of this movie would focus on the adventures of a retired US military officer who is convinced to come out of retirement and serve his country after the events of 9-11. Much stirring patriotic music and rousing speeches to rally the people (United We Stand! Let’s Roll!) ensue. Throw in some B-List Hollywood stars like Scott Glenn and Tom Skerritt, and you have a sure-fire box office/ratings winner.

Oh wait, this has been done already.  

Homeland Security USA, the game show. Contestants would compete in wacky contests like stripping naked for airport security personnel, random terrorizing of immigrants, or engaging in “behavior observation” at public events.

Prizes would include things like an all-expenses paid weekend getaway for the winner and a guest at the Guantanamo Bay military base after its future makeover as a luxury resort.

Here is a promotional trailer/homage for the show. It depicts some of the exploits of our servicemen and women who are courageously defending the Fatherland.

Remember: The only thing between us and the trouble outside our borders are … America’s Heroes!

 (Homeland Security USA airs Tuesdays 8 PM Eastern/7 PM Central on ABC)

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 15, 2009 8:26 pm

    “Prizes would include things like an all-expenses paid weekend getaway for the winner and a guest at the Guantanamo Bay military base after its future makeover as a luxury resort.”

    Haha….I must say, the game show would be quite appealing to me on many levels. But really, I don’t see why this is reality tv after all. Talk about feeding these so-called “patriots” more ammo. I saw a commercial on it on tv, but I don’t see point in watching this kind of garbage. It’s not like it’s gonna make me wanna get out there and join the “Minute Men”.

  2. February 17, 2009 9:15 am

    If you think the Gitmo weekend getaway is cool, you can imagine what lovely parting gifts contestants would get. 😉

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